Original: I pray thee, cease thy counsel,
Modern: Please, stop giving me advice,

Original: Which falls into mine ears as profitless
Modern: Your words are as useless to me

Original: As water in a sieve: give not me counsel;
Modern: As water through a strainer: don’t give me advice;

Original: Nor let no comforter delight mine ear
Modern: And don’t let anyone try to comfort me

Original: But such a one whose wrongs do suit with mine.
Modern: Unless they’ve suffered the same wrongs I have.

Original: Bring me a father that so loved his child,
Modern: Find me a father who loved his child as much as I did,

Original: Whose joy of her is overwhelm’d like mine,
Modern: Whose happiness has been destroyed like mine,

Original: And bid him speak of patience;
Modern: And then ask him to talk about being patient;

Original: Measure his woe the length and breadth of mine
Modern: Compare his sorrow to mine in every way

Original: And let it answer every strain for strain,
Modern: And let it match my pain point for point,

Original: As thus for thus and such a grief for such,
Modern: Exactly like this grief for that grief,

Original: In every lineament, branch, shape, and form:
Modern: In every detail, aspect, and form:

Original: If such a one will smile and stroke his beard,
Modern: If such a man can smile and calmly stroke his beard,

Original: Bid sorrow wag, cry ‘hem!’ when he should groan,
Modern: Tell sorrow to go away, clear his throat when he should be crying,

Original: Patch grief with proverbs, make misfortune drunk
Modern: Cover up grief with wise sayings, drown misfortune

Original: With candle-wasters; bring him yet to me,
Modern: With late-night studying; then bring him to me,

Original: And I of him will gather patience.
Modern: And I’ll learn patience from him.

Original: But there is no such man: for, brother, men
Modern: But no such man exists: because, brother, men

Original: Can counsel and speak comfort to that grief
Modern: Can give advice and comfort to the grief

Original: Which they themselves not feel; but, tasting it,
Modern: That they don’t feel themselves; but when they experience it,

Original: Their counsel turns to passion, which before
Modern: Their advice becomes pure emotion, when before

Original: Would give preceptial medicine to rage,
Modern: They would offer wise remedies for anger,

Original: Fetter strong madness in a silken thread,
Modern: Chain down violent madness with gentle words,

Original: Charm ache with air and agony with words:
Modern: Cure pain with empty talk and suffering with speeches:

Original: No, no; ‘tis all men’s office to speak patience
Modern: No, no; it’s every man’s job to preach patience

Original: To those that wring under the load of sorrow,
Modern: To those who are crushed under the weight of grief,

Original: But no man’s virtue nor sufficiency
Modern: But no man has the strength or ability

Original: To be so moral when he shall endure
Modern: To be so wise when he has to endure

Original: The like himself. Therefore give me no counsel:
Modern: The same thing himself. So don’t give me advice:

Original: My griefs cry louder than advertisement.
Modern: My pain speaks louder than any words of comfort.

In Act V, Scene 1 of “Much Ado About Nothing,” Leonato and his brother Antonio encounter Don Pedro and Claudio. Leonato challenges Claudio to a duel for slandering Hero and causing her apparent death, while Antonio fiercely supports his brother and adds his own challenges. Despite their age, both men display genuine rage and grief, but Don Pedro and Claudio refuse to fight them, treating their anger with dismissive politeness. The old men depart after delivering their accusations and condemnations, leaving Don Pedro and Claudio to reflect uncomfortably on the situation.

Benedick then enters, and Claudio attempts to engage him in their usual witty banter, but Benedick remains serious and formally challenges Claudio to a duel for his treatment of Hero. He also informs Don Pedro that Don John has fled Messina, confirming the villain’s guilt. Benedick departs, and Don Pedro and Claudio are left unsettled by his uncharacteristic gravity. Dogberry and Verges then arrive with the Watch and their prisoners, Borachio and Conrado. Borachio confesses the entire deception to Don Pedro, explaining how he and Don John staged the scene at Hero’s window with Margaret to make Claudio believe Hero was unfaithful. Recognizing their terrible mistake, both Don Pedro and Claudio are overcome with remorse upon learning that Hero was innocent and that she has died as a result of their actions.

Much Ado About Nothing takes place in Messina, where Don Pedro, Prince of Aragon, arrives with his companions Claudio and Benedick after a military victory. Claudio immediately falls in love with Hero, daughter of Leonato (the governor of Messina), and Don Pedro arranges their engagement. Meanwhile, Benedick and Beatrice, Leonato’s niece, engage in a battle of wits, trading insults and declaring their mutual disdain for love and marriage. Don Pedro, Claudio, and Leonato conspire to trick Benedick and Beatrice into falling in love by staging conversations where each overhears how the other is supposedly lovesick for them.

Don John, Don Pedro’s illegitimate brother and the play’s villain, plots to destroy Claudio’s happiness by making him believe Hero is unfaithful. With his accomplices Borachio and Conrad, Don John arranges for Claudio and Don Pedro to witness what appears to be Hero meeting with another man at her window the night before her wedding. In reality, it is Hero’s waiting-gentlewoman Margaret being wooed by Borachio in disguise.

At the wedding ceremony, Claudio publicly accuses Hero of infidelity and rejects her. Hero faints from shock, and Friar Francis suggests they pretend she has died from the shame while they investigate the truth. Benedick, now in love with Beatrice, promises to challenge Claudio to a duel when Beatrice demands he prove his love by defending Hero’s honor. Meanwhile, the bumbling constable Dogberry and his watchmen accidentally overhear Borachio boasting about the deception to Conrad and arrest them both.

Through Dogberry’s interrogation, the truth emerges about Don John’s plot. Claudio learns of Hero’s innocence and agrees to make amends by marrying Leonato’s “niece” (actually Hero in disguise) the next day. At this second wedding ceremony, Hero reveals herself, and she and Claudio are reconciled. Benedick and Beatrice finally admit their love for each other and agree to marry as well. The play concludes with news that Don John has been captured while trying to flee, and the couples celebrate their double wedding.