Original: I do much wonder that one man, seeing how much another man is a fool when he dedicates his behaviors to love, will, after he hath laughed at such shallow follies in others, become the argument of his own scorn by falling in love: and such a man is Claudio.
Modern: I’m amazed that a man can watch another man act like a fool when he’s in love, laugh at such silly behavior, and then become just as foolish himself by falling in love—and that’s exactly what happened to Claudio.

Original: I have known when there was no music with him but the drum and the fife; and now had he rather hear the tabour and the pipe:
Modern: I remember when the only music he cared about was military drums and fifes; now he’d rather listen to gentle dance music.

Original: I have known when he would have walked ten mile a-foot to see a good armour; and now will he lie ten nights awake, carving the fashion of a new doublet.
Modern: I remember when he would walk ten miles on foot to see fine armor; now he stays awake ten nights straight designing fashionable jackets.

Original: He was wont to speak plain and to the purpose, like an honest man and a soldier; and now is he turned orthography; his words are a very fantastical banquet, just so many strange dishes.
Modern: He used to speak plainly and directly, like an honest soldier; now he’s become a walking dictionary, his words like an elaborate feast with too many weird dishes.

Original: May I be so converted and see with these eyes?
Modern: Could I ever be changed like that and see things the way he does?

Original: I cannot tell; I think not: I will not be sworn, but love may transform me to an oyster; but I’ll take my oath on it, till he have made an oyster of me, he shall never make me such a fool.
Modern: I can’t say for sure; I don’t think so. I won’t swear to it, but love might turn me into a silent oyster—but I swear, until love makes me completely speechless, it will never make me such a fool.

Original: One woman is fair, yet I am well; another is wise, yet I am well; another virtuous, yet I am well; but till all graces be in one woman, one woman shall not come in my grace.
Modern: One woman is beautiful, and I’m fine without her; another is smart, and I’m still fine; another is virtuous, and I’m still okay—but until all these qualities exist in one woman, no single woman will win my favor.

Original: Rich she shall be, that’s certain; wise, or I’ll none; virtuous, or I’ll never cheapen her; fair, or I’ll never look on her; mild, or come not near me; noble, or not I for an angel; of good discourse, an excellent musician, and her hair shall be of what colour it please God.
Modern: She must be rich, that’s for sure; smart, or I won’t have her; virtuous, or I’ll never pursue her; beautiful, or I won’t even look at her; gentle, or stay away from me; noble, or I wouldn’t take her for a fortune; a good conversationalist, an excellent musician, and her hair can be whatever color God wants it to be.

Original: Ha! the prince and Monsieur Love!
Modern: Ha! Here comes the prince and Mr. Lovesick!

Original: I will hide me in the arbour.
Modern: I’m going to hide in these bushes.

In Act II, Scene 3 of “Much Ado About Nothing,” Benedick enters alone in Leonato’s orchard, musing about Claudio’s transformation from a soldier into a lover. He mocks the changes love has brought to his friend and declares his own immunity to such romantic foolishness, stating that he would never fall victim to love’s power. When he sees Don Pedro, Claudio, and Leonato approaching with music, Benedick hides himself to eavesdrop on their conversation.

The three men, aware of Benedick’s presence, proceed to discuss Beatrice’s supposed secret and passionate love for Benedick. They speak of how she pines for him, writes love letters that she tears up, and fears to reveal her feelings because of his well-known disdain for love and women. They express concern that Beatrice might harm herself from unrequited love, noting that Benedick would only mock her if he knew of her affection. After they exit, Benedick emerges from hiding, completely convinced by what he has heard. He resolves that her love must be requited and decides he must change his bachelor ways, interpreting Beatrice’s previous sharp words as signs of her hidden affection.

Much Ado About Nothing takes place in Messina, where Don Pedro, Prince of Aragon, arrives with his companions Claudio and Benedick after a military victory. Claudio immediately falls in love with Hero, daughter of Leonato (the governor of Messina), and Don Pedro arranges their engagement. Meanwhile, Benedick and Beatrice, Leonato’s niece, engage in a battle of wits, trading insults and declaring their mutual disdain for love and marriage. Don Pedro, Claudio, and Leonato conspire to trick Benedick and Beatrice into falling in love by staging conversations where each overhears how the other is supposedly lovesick for them.

Don John, Don Pedro’s illegitimate brother and the play’s villain, plots to destroy Claudio’s happiness by making him believe Hero is unfaithful. With his accomplices Borachio and Conrad, Don John arranges for Claudio and Don Pedro to witness what appears to be Hero meeting with another man at her window the night before her wedding. In reality, it is Hero’s waiting-gentlewoman Margaret being wooed by Borachio in disguise.

At the wedding ceremony, Claudio publicly accuses Hero of infidelity and rejects her. Hero faints from shock, and Friar Francis suggests they pretend she has died from the shame while they investigate the truth. Benedick, now in love with Beatrice, promises to challenge Claudio to a duel when Beatrice demands he prove his love by defending Hero’s honor. Meanwhile, the bumbling constable Dogberry and his watchmen accidentally overhear Borachio boasting about the deception to Conrad and arrest them both.

Through Dogberry’s interrogation, the truth emerges about Don John’s plot. Claudio learns of Hero’s innocence and agrees to make amends by marrying Leonato’s “niece” (actually Hero in disguise) the next day. At this second wedding ceremony, Hero reveals herself, and she and Claudio are reconciled. Benedick and Beatrice finally admit their love for each other and agree to marry as well. The play concludes with news that Don John has been captured while trying to flee, and the couples celebrate their double wedding.