Original: Why, what is Tybalt?
Modern: So who exactly is this Tybalt guy?

Original: More than prince of cats, I can tell you.
Modern: He’s more than just the king of cats, I’ll tell you that.

Original: O, he is the courageous captain of compliments.
Modern: Oh, he thinks he’s the brave master of fancy manners.

Original: He fights as you sing prick-song, keeps time, distance, and proportion;
Modern: He fights like you’d sing written music - perfectly timed, measured, and precise;

Original: rests me his minim rest, one, two, and the third in your bosom:
Modern: he pauses at just the right moment, counts one, two, and stabs you on three:

Original: the very butcher of a silk button, a duellist, a duellist;
Modern: he’s so precise he could slice a silk button in half, a duelist, a real duelist;

Original: a gentleman of the very first house, of the first and second cause:
Modern: a gentleman from the finest fencing school, who knows all the rules for starting duels:

Original: ah, the immortal passado! the punto reverso! the hai!
Modern: ah, his famous forward thrust! his reverse thrust! his killer move!

Original: The pox of such antic, lisping, affecting fantasticoes;
Modern: A curse on these ridiculous, lisping, pretentious show-offs;

Original: these new tuners of accents!
Modern: these people who put on fake accents!

Original: ‘By Jesu, a very good blade! a very tall man! a very good whore!’
Modern: “By Jesus, what an excellent sword! what a brave man! what a fine woman!”

Original: Why, is not this a lamentable thing, grandsire,
Modern: Isn’t this a sad thing, old man,

Original: that we should be thus afflicted with these strange flies,
Modern: that we have to put up with these annoying pests,

Original: these fashion-mongers, these perdona-mi’s,
Modern: these fashion obsessed people, these “pardon me” types,

Original: who stand so much on the new form,
Modern: who are so obsessed with new styles

Original: that they cannot at ease on the old bench?
Modern: that they can’t sit comfortably with the old ways?

Original: O, their bones, their bones!
Modern: Oh, may their bones ache from all their posturing!

In Act II, Scene iv of Romeo and Juliet, Mercutio and Benvolio search the streets of Verona for Romeo, who has not returned home after the Capulet feast. Mercutio mocks Romeo’s absence, assuming he is still pining after Rosaline, and delivers witty commentary about Romeo’s lovesick behavior. The two friends discuss Tybalt’s challenge to a duel that has been sent to Romeo’s father’s house, with Mercutio describing Tybalt as a skilled but overly formal duelist. When Romeo finally appears, Mercutio immediately begins teasing him with elaborate wordplay and sexual puns, believing Romeo spent the night lamenting his unrequited love.

Romeo matches Mercutio’s wit with his own jokes and puns, demonstrating a surprisingly cheerful mood that puzzles his friends. The Nurse arrives with Peter, seeking Romeo on Juliet’s behalf. Mercutio and the Nurse engage in bawdy exchanges before Mercutio and Benvolio exit, leaving Romeo alone with the Nurse. Romeo instructs the Nurse to tell Juliet to come to Friar Lawrence’s cell that afternoon under the pretense of confession, where they will be secretly married. He gives the Nurse money and arranges for her to receive a rope ladder from his servant, which will allow him to climb to Juliet’s window that night to consummate their marriage.

“Romeo and Juliet” tells the story of two young lovers from feuding families in Verona. Romeo Montague attends a Capulet feast in disguise, where he meets and instantly falls in love with Juliet Capulet. They meet secretly that night on her balcony and decide to marry the next day. Friar Lawrence agrees to perform the ceremony, hoping their union might end the family feud.

After the secret wedding, Romeo encounters Juliet’s cousin Tybalt, who challenges him to a duel. When Romeo refuses to fight, his friend Mercutio accepts the challenge and is killed by Tybalt. In revenge, Romeo kills Tybalt and is banished from Verona by Prince Escalus. Meanwhile, Juliet’s parents, unaware of her secret marriage, arrange for her to wed Count Paris.

Desperate to avoid this second marriage, Juliet seeks help from Friar Lawrence, who gives her a potion that will make her appear dead. The plan is for Romeo to return and take her away when she awakens in the Capulet tomb. However, Romeo never receives the friar’s message explaining the scheme. Believing Juliet truly dead, he purchases poison and drinks it beside her tomb.

Juliet awakens to find Romeo’s lifeless body and, in despair, kills herself with his dagger. The tragic deaths of their children finally reconcile the Montague and Capulet families, who vow to end their ancient hatred. Prince Escalus concludes that all are punished by this sorrowful outcome of the families’ bitter feud.