Original: If we offend, it is with our good will.
Modern: If we upset you, it’s because we mean well.

Original: That you should think, we come not to offend,
Modern: You should understand that we didn’t come here to upset you,

Original: But with good will. To show our simple skill,
Modern: But with good intentions. To show you our basic acting abilities,

Original: That is the true beginning of our end.
Modern: That is the real reason we’re performing.

Original: Consider then we come but in despite.
Modern: Please understand that we come here only to please you.

Original: We do not come as minding to contest you,
Modern: We didn’t come here planning to challenge you,

Original: Our true intent is. All for your delight
Modern: Our real purpose is this: everything is for your entertainment

Original: We are not here. That you should here repent you,
Modern: We are performing here so that you won’t regret being here,

Original: The actors are at hand and by their show
Modern: The actors are ready and through their performance

Original: You shall know all that you are like to know.
Modern: You will learn everything you need to know.

Original: Gentles, perchance you wonder at this show;
Modern: Ladies and gentlemen, perhaps you’re confused by this performance;

Original: But wonder on, till truth make all things plain.
Modern: But keep wondering until the truth makes everything clear.

Original: This man is Pyramus, if you would know;
Modern: This man is playing Pyramus, in case you want to know;

Original: This beauteous lady Thisby is certain.
Modern: This beautiful lady is definitely playing Thisbe.

Original: This man, with lime and rough-cast, doth present
Modern: This man, with plaster and cement, represents

Original: Wall, that vile Wall which did these lovers sunder;
Modern: The wall, that awful wall which kept these lovers apart;

Original: And through Wall’s chink, poor souls, they are content
Modern: And through a crack in the wall, these poor souls are happy

Original: To whisper. At the which let no man wonder.
Modern: To whisper to each other. No one should be surprised by this.

Original: This man, with lanthorn, dog, and bush of thorn,
Modern: This man, with a lantern, dog, and thornbush,

Original: Presenteth Moonshine; for, if you will know,
Modern: Represents the moonlight; because, if you want to know,

Original: By moonshine did these lovers think no scorn
Modern: By moonlight these lovers didn’t think it was shameful

Original: To meet at Ninus’ tomb, there, there to woo.
Modern: To meet at Ninus’s tomb to romance each other there.

Original: This grisly beast, which Lion hight by name,
Modern: This terrifying beast, which is called Lion by name,

Original: The trusty Thisby, coming first by night,
Modern: Scared away the faithful Thisbe when she arrived first at night,

Original: Did scare away, or rather did affright;
Modern: Actually, more accurately, he frightened her;

Original: And, as she fled, her mantle she did fall,
Modern: And as she ran away, she dropped her cloak,

Original: Which Lion vile with bloody mouth did stain.
Modern: Which the vicious Lion stained with his bloody mouth.

Original: Anon comes Pyramus, sweet youth and tall,
Modern: Soon after, Pyramus arrives, a nice and brave young man,

Original: And finds his trusty Thisby’s mantle slain:
Modern: And finds his faithful Thisbe’s cloak torn and bloodied:

Original: Whereat, with blade, with bloody blameful blade,
Modern: At which point, with his sword, with his bloody guilty sword,

Original: He bravely broach’d is boiling bloody breast;
Modern: He bravely stabbed his own passionate, bleeding chest;

Original: And Thisby, tarrying in mulberry shade,
Modern: And Thisbe, waiting nearby under the mulberry tree,

Original: His dagger drew, and died. For all the rest,
Modern: Pulled out his dagger and killed herself. As for everything else,

Original: Let Lion, Moonshine, Wall, and lovers twain
Modern: Let the Lion, Moonshine, Wall, and the two lovers

Original: At large discourse, while here they do remain.
Modern: Explain it all in detail while they’re here on stage.

In Act V, Scene 1 of “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” Theseus and Hippolyta discuss the strange tale told by the four young lovers about their experiences in the forest. Theseus dismisses their story as the product of imagination, comparing lovers, lunatics, and poets as those who see things that reason cannot comprehend. Hippolyta, however, finds their consistent account more credible. The newlyweds Lysander, Demetrius, Hermia, and Helena enter, and Theseus calls for entertainment to pass the time before bed. Philostrate presents a list of possible entertainments, and despite his master of revels’ objections, Theseus chooses to watch “Pyramus and Thisbe” performed by the mechanicals.

The craftsmen, led by Quince as Prologue, Bottom as Pyramus, and Flute as Thisbe, present their tragical comedy before the noble audience. Their amateur performance is filled with unintentional humor - Wall (Snout) literally represents the barrier between the lovers, Moonshine (Starveling) carries a lantern and thornbush, and Lion (Snug) reassures the ladies he is not a real lion. The nobles provide witty commentary throughout the performance, mocking the players’ literal interpretations and melodramatic delivery. After Pyramus and Thisbe’s deaths conclude the play, Bottom offers an epilogue or a bergomask dance, but Theseus declines both, and the court retires to bed as midnight approaches.

A Midsummer Night’s Dream follows multiple interconnected plots that unfold over the course of a single midsummer night in Athens and the nearby enchanted forest. The play opens with Duke Theseus of Athens preparing to marry Hippolyta, Queen of the Amazons. Meanwhile, Egeus brings his daughter Hermia before Theseus, demanding she marry Demetrius according to his wishes. Hermia refuses because she loves Lysander, and Theseus gives her until his wedding day to decide between marrying Demetrius, becoming a nun, or facing death. Hermia and Lysander plan to elope by meeting in the forest, and they confide in Hermia’s friend Helena, who is desperately in love with Demetrius despite his rejection of her.

In the forest, the fairy king Oberon and queen Titania are feuding over custody of a changeling boy. Oberon instructs his mischievous servant Puck to fetch a magical flower whose juice, when applied to sleeping eyes, makes the person fall in love with the first creature they see upon waking. Oberon plans to use this on Titania to humiliate her into giving up the boy, and he also orders Puck to help Helena by making Demetrius fall in love with her. However, Puck mistakenly applies the juice to Lysander’s eyes instead, causing him to fall in love with Helena when he awakens. Meanwhile, a group of Athenian craftsmen rehearsing a play in the forest becomes entangled in the magical chaos when Puck transforms their leader Bottom’s head into that of a donkey, and the enchanted Titania falls in love with him.

The romantic confusion deepens when Oberon discovers Puck’s error and applies the love juice to Demetrius’s eyes as well, causing both young men to pursue Helena, who believes they are mocking her. Hermia becomes confused and angry when Lysander rejects her for Helena. Oberon orders Puck to separate the four lovers and fix the situation. After obtaining the changeling boy from the distracted Titania, Oberon releases her from the spell and restores Bottom to his normal form. Puck leads the exhausted lovers through the forest until they fall asleep, then applies an antidote to Lysander’s eyes so he will love Hermia again upon waking. Theseus discovers the four lovers in the forest the next morning, and since Demetrius now truly loves Helena, the duke overrules Egeus and declares a triple wedding. The play concludes with the three couples’ wedding celebration, where the craftsmen perform their comically inept play, followed by the fairies blessing the palace and its inhabitants.