Here is the line-by-line paraphrase of Jaques’ famous “Seven Ages of Man” monologue from As You Like It:

Original: All the world’s a stage,
Modern: The entire world is like a theater,

Original: And all the men and women merely players:
Modern: And all the people are just actors:

Original: They have their exits and their entrances;
Modern: They come and go at different times;

Original: And one man in his time plays many parts,
Modern: And each person during their lifetime plays many different roles,

Original: His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Modern: These roles being seven stages of life. First there’s the baby,

Original: Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.
Modern: Crying and throwing up in the caretaker’s arms.

Original: And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel,
Modern: And then the complaining school boy, with his book bag,

Original: And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Modern: And bright clean face, moving as slowly as a snail

Original: Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Modern: Not wanting to go to school. And then the young man in love,

Original: Sighing like furnace, with a woful ballad
Modern: Sighing like a hot furnace, with a sad love poem

Original: Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Modern: Written about his girlfriend’s beauty. Then comes the soldier,

Original: Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Modern: Full of weird curses, and with a beard spotted like a leopard,

Original: Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Modern: Protective of his reputation, quick to start fights,

Original: Seeking the bubble reputation
Modern: Chasing after fame that’s as fragile as a bubble

Original: Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,
Modern: Even if it means facing enemy fire. And then the judge,

Original: In fair round belly with good capon lin’d,
Modern: With a big round belly filled with good food,

Original: With eyes severe, and beard of formal cut,
Modern: With stern eyes and a neatly trimmed beard,

Original: Full of wise saws and modern instances;
Modern: Full of wise sayings and current examples;

Original: And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Modern: And that’s how he plays his role. The sixth stage changes

Original: Into the lean and slipper’d pantaloon,
Modern: Into the skinny old man wearing slippers,

Original: With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
Modern: With glasses on his nose and a bag at his side,

Original: His youthful hose well sav’d, a world too wide
Modern: His old stockings carefully preserved, now way too big

Original: For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Modern: For his shrunken legs; and his deep manly voice,

Original: Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
Modern: Becoming high-pitched like a child’s again, squeaks

Original: And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
Modern: And whistles when he talks. The final scene of all,

Original: That ends this strange eventful history,
Modern: That ends this weird and eventful life story,

Original: Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Modern: Is becoming like a child again and total forgetfulness,

Original: Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
Modern: Without teeth, without sight, without taste, without anything.

In Act II, Scene 7 of “As You Like It,” Duke Senior and his lords are gathered in the Forest of Arden, preparing to dine. Jaques enters and reports his encounter with Touchstone the fool, whom he found in the forest. Jaques is delighted by the fool’s philosophical musings about time and morality, and he requests that Duke Senior grant him the liberty of a fool so that he might speak freely and cleanse the world of its sins through his wit. Duke Senior rebukes Jaques, arguing that those who have been most sinful themselves are least qualified to criticize others, and he warns against the cruelty that can come from satirical speech.

Orlando then bursts into the scene with his sword drawn, demanding food and threatening violence if refused. Duke Senior responds with courtesy and hospitality, inviting Orlando to join their meal. Orlando, surprised by this kindness, apologizes for his rudeness and explains that he has left his elderly servant Adam in the forest, weak from hunger and travel. Orlando departs to retrieve Adam, and while he is gone, Duke Senior reflects on how their exile has taught them about the hardships that exist throughout the world. When Orlando returns carrying Adam, the Duke welcomes them both. Jaques then delivers his famous “Seven Ages of Man” speech, describing the seven stages of human life from infancy to old age, while Orlando tends to Adam and all partake in the meal.

As You Like It follows the story of Rosalind, daughter of the banished Duke Senior, who lives at court with her cousin Celia under the rule of the usurping Duke Frederick. When the young nobleman Orlando defeats the court wrestler Charles, Rosalind and Orlando fall instantly in love. However, Duke Frederick suddenly banishes Rosalind, fearing her popularity threatens his power. Celia chooses to flee with her beloved cousin, and together they escape to the Forest of Arden where Rosalind’s father lives in exile with his loyal followers.

To ensure their safety during their journey and life in the forest, Rosalind disguises herself as a young man named Ganymede, while Celia takes the identity of a shepherdess called Aliena. Meanwhile, Orlando, having been warned by the faithful servant Adam that his jealous older brother Oliver plans to kill him, also flees to the forest. In Arden, Orlando encounters “Ganymede” and, not recognizing his beloved Rosalind, agrees to cure his lovesickness by wooing the disguised young man as if he were Rosalind herself.

The forest becomes a place of romantic confusion and resolution, populated by various couples including the melancholy Jaques, the fool Touchstone (who pursues the country wench Audrey), and the shepherdess Phebe (who falls for “Ganymede” while spurning her devoted Silvius). The play’s complications multiply when Oliver arrives in the forest, transformed by Orlando’s heroic rescue of him from a lioness, and immediately falls in love with Celia. In the final act, Rosalind orchestrates the resolution of all romantic entanglements by revealing her true identity, leading to multiple marriages. Duke Frederick experiences a religious conversion and restores his brother to power, allowing the court characters to choose between returning to civilization or remaining in the pastoral world of Arden.