Original: And she shall thank you for’t, if e’er you know her.
Modern: And she would thank you for it, if you ever get to meet her.

Original: A virtuous gentlewoman, mild and beautiful
Modern: She’s a good woman, gentle and beautiful.

Original: I hope my master’s suit will be but cold,
Modern: I hope my master’s romantic pursuit of her will fail,

Original: Since she respects my mistress’ love so much.
Modern: Since she cares so much about my mistress’s feelings.

Original: Alas, how love can trifle with itself!
Modern: Oh no, how love can play cruel tricks on itself!

Original: Here is her picture: let me see; I think,
Modern: Here is her portrait: let me look; I think,

Original: If I had such a tire, this face of mine
Modern: If I had such a headdress, this face of mine

Original: Were full as lovely as is this of hers:
Modern: Would be just as lovely as hers is:

Original: And yet the painter flatter’d her a little,
Modern: And yet the artist made her look better than she really is,

Original: Unless I flatter with myself too much.
Modern: Unless I’m being too kind to myself.

Original: Her hair is auburn, mine is perfect yellow:
Modern: Her hair is reddish-brown, mine is perfectly blonde:

Original: If that be all the difference in his love,
Modern: If that’s the only difference that matters to him,

Original: I’ll get me such a colour’d periwig.
Modern: I’ll buy myself a wig in that color.

Original: Her eyes are grey as glass, and so are mine:
Modern: Her eyes are grey like glass, and so are mine:

Original: Ay, but her forehead’s low, and mine’s as high.
Modern: Yes, but her forehead is low, and mine is high.

Original: What should it be that he respects in her
Modern: What could it be that he admires in her

Original: But I can make respective in myself,
Modern: That I can’t make admirable in myself,

Original: If this fond Love were not a blinded god?
Modern: If this foolish Love weren’t a blind god?

Original: Come, shadow, come and take this shadow up,
Modern: Come, servant, come and pick up this portrait,

Original: For ‘tis thy rival. O thou senseless form,
Modern: Because it’s your rival. Oh you lifeless image,

Original: Thou shalt be worshipp’d, kiss’d, loved and adored!
Modern: You will be worshipped, kissed, loved and adored!

Original: And, were there sense in his idolatry,
Modern: And if there were any logic to his obsession,

Original: My substance should be statue in thy stead.
Modern: My real body should be the statue instead of you.

Original: I’ll use thee kindly for thy mistress’ sake,
Modern: I’ll treat you gently for your mistress’s sake,

Original: That used me so; or else, by Jove I vow,
Modern: Since she treated me well; or else, by God I swear,

Original: I should have scratch’d out your unseeing eyes
Modern: I would have scratched out your blind eyes

Original: To make my master out of love with thee!
Modern: To make my master fall out of love with you!

In Act IV, Scene iv of “The Two Gentlemen of Verona,” Launce enters with his dog Crab and delivers a monologue about the trouble his pet has caused him. Launce recounts how Crab’s poor behavior at court has embarrassed him before the Duke, explaining that while he wept at their departure, his stone-hearted dog showed no emotion. He describes various misdeeds committed by Crab, including stealing food and relieving himself in inappropriate places, for which Launce has repeatedly taken the blame and punishment. Despite his frustrations, Launce demonstrates his loyalty to his pet by protecting him from consequences.

Proteus then enters and instructs Launce to deliver a small dog as a gift to Silvia on his behalf. However, Launce reveals that he has lost the original lap-dog that Proteus had given him for this purpose. To remedy the situation, Launce has acquired Crab as a replacement, though he acknowledges that his large, ungainly dog is hardly suitable as a lady’s pet. Proteus becomes exasperated with Launce’s incompetence and dismisses him, deciding he must handle the delivery to Silvia himself. The scene concludes with Proteus’s frustration over his servant’s bumbling attempts to help with his courtship.

The Two Gentlemen of Verona follows the friendship and romantic entanglements of Valentine and Proteus, two young gentlemen from Verona. The play opens with Valentine departing for Milan to experience court life, leaving behind his friend Proteus, who is deeply in love with Julia. Soon after, Proteus is also sent to Milan by his father, forcing him to leave Julia, though they secretly exchange rings as tokens of their love. Meanwhile, Julia decides to disguise herself as a young man named Sebastian and follow Proteus to Milan.

In Milan, Valentine has fallen in love with Silvia, the Duke’s daughter, and she returns his affection. However, when Proteus arrives and meets Silvia, he immediately forgets his love for Julia and becomes infatuated with his friend’s beloved. In an act of betrayal, Proteus reveals Valentine’s secret plan to elope with Silvia to her father, the Duke. As punishment, Valentine is banished from Milan and becomes the leader of a group of outlaws in the forest.

The climax unfolds in the forest where all the characters converge. Proteus pursues the disguised Julia (still dressed as Sebastian, who has become his page) and attempts to force his attentions on Silvia, who has fled to find Valentine. Valentine arrives just in time to stop the assault, and when Proteus expresses remorse, Valentine magnanimously offers to give up Silvia to restore their friendship. At this moment, Julia faints and reveals her true identity. The play concludes with the Duke’s arrival, his pardon of Valentine and the outlaws, and the restoration of proper romantic pairings: Valentine with Silvia and Proteus reunited with the forgiving Julia.