Original: And I, forsooth, in love! I, that have been love’s whip;
Modern: And I’m actually in love! Me, who used to punish lovers!

Original: A very beadle to a humorous sigh;
Modern: Like a church officer controlling every lovesick sigh;

Original: A critic, nay, a night-watch constable;
Modern: A harsh critic, no, more like a night watchman;

Original: A domineering pedant o’er the boy;
Modern: A bossy teacher lecturing that little boy Cupid;

Original: Than whom no mortal so magnificent!
Modern: Who thinks he’s more magnificent than anyone alive!

Original: This whimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy;
Modern: This blindfolded, whining, half-blind, stubborn boy;

Original: This senior-junior, giant-dwarf, Dan Cupid;
Modern: This old-young, huge-tiny contradiction, Lord Cupid;

Original: Regent of love-rhymes, lord of folded arms,
Modern: The ruler of love poems and crossed arms,

Original: The anointed sovereign of sighs and groans,
Modern: The crowned king of sighs and groans,

Original: Liege of all loiterers and malcontents,
Modern: Master of all lazy people and complainers,

Original: Dread prince of plackets, king of codpieces,
Modern: Feared prince of women’s skirts, king of men’s sexuality,

Original: Sole imperator and great general
Modern: The only emperor and commanding general

Original: Of trotting ‘paritors:–O my little heart:–
Modern: Of running messengers—Oh, my poor heart!—

Original: And I to be a corporal of his field,
Modern: And now I’m just a low-ranking soldier in his army,

Original: And wear his colours like a tumbler’s hoop!
Modern: And display his colors like an acrobat’s prop!

Original: What, I! I love! I sue! I seek a wife!
Modern: What, me! I’m in love! I’m begging! I want a wife!

Original: A woman, that is like a German clock,
Modern: A woman who’s like a complicated German clock,

Original: Still a-repairing, ever out of frame,
Modern: Always needing fixes, constantly broken,

Original: And never going aright, being a watch,
Modern: And never working properly as a timepiece,

Original: But being watch’d that it may still go right!
Modern: But requiring constant watching to keep it running!

Original: Nay, to be perjured, which is worst of all;
Modern: No, to break my oath, which is the worst part;

Original: And, among three, to love the worst of all;
Modern: And out of three women, to love the worst one;

Original: A wightly wanton with a velvet brow,
Modern: A lively, loose woman with a smooth forehead,

Original: With two pitch-balls stuck in her face for eyes;
Modern: With two dark eyes like black tar balls in her face;

Original: Ay, and by heaven, one that will do the deed
Modern: Yes, and by God, one who will have sex

Original: Though Argus were her eunuch and her guard:
Modern: Even if the hundred-eyed giant were her castrated guard:

Original: And I to sigh for her! to watch for her!
Modern: And I’m here sighing for her! Watching for her!

Original: To pray for her! Go to; it is a plague
Modern: Praying for her! Come on; this is a curse

Original: That Cupid will impose for my neglect
Modern: That Cupid is putting on me for ignoring

Original: Of his almighty dreadful little might.
Modern: His all-powerful, terrible little strength.

Original: Well, I will love, write, sigh, pray, sue and groan:
Modern: Well, I’ll love, write poems, sigh, pray, beg and groan:

Original: Some men must love my lady and some Joan.
Modern: Some men must love noble ladies and others ordinary women.

In Act III, Scene i of “Love’s Labour’s Lost,” Armado encounters Moth and discusses his melancholic state, revealing his lovesickness for Jaquenetta. The pompous Spaniard speaks in his characteristic verbose and affected manner about the nature of love and his romantic afflictions. Moth, his witty page, responds with clever wordplay and observations that often deflate Armado’s grandiose speeches. Their conversation touches on the contradictions between Armado’s noble pretensions and his actual circumstances, particularly his poverty and his romantic pursuit of a country wench.

The scene continues with Costard’s entrance, leading to interactions between the three characters that showcase their distinct personalities and social positions. Armado’s attempts at eloquence are met with Moth’s sharp wit and Costard’s more straightforward manner of speaking. The dialogue reveals information about the various romantic entanglements developing in the play, while also providing comic relief through the contrasts between the characters’ different speaking styles and their misunderstandings of one another. The scene serves to advance the subplot involving the lower-class characters while paralleling the romantic complications of the main plot involving the nobles.

“Love’s Labour’s Lost” opens with Ferdinand, the King of Navarre, and his three courtiers—Berowne, Longaville, and Dumain—taking a solemn oath to dedicate three years to scholarly pursuits while forswearing the company of women, fasting, and sleeping only three hours per night. Their noble intentions are immediately complicated by the arrival of the Princess of France and her three attending ladies—Rosaline, Maria, and Katharine—who come on a diplomatic mission regarding Aquitaine. Despite their vows, all four men quickly fall in love with the visiting ladies, though they initially attempt to hide their feelings from one another.

The romantic complications intensify when each man tries to secretly woo his chosen lady while believing himself to be the only oath-breaker. Comic relief is provided by a cast of eccentric characters including Don Armado, a bombastic Spanish knight who loves the country wench Jaquenetta; Costard, a simple clown; and the pedantic schoolmaster Holofernes. The ladies, aware of the men’s affections, decide to test their suitors’ sincerity by disguising themselves at a masque, leading to a delightful scene of mistaken identities where each man woos the wrong woman.

The play builds toward what seems like a conventional comic resolution with multiple betrothals, but Shakespeare subverts expectations in the final act. News arrives that the Princess’s father, the King of France, has died, casting a somber shadow over the festivities. The ladies impose a year-long trial on their suitors—the men must prove their love’s constancy through a period of good works and patient waiting. The play concludes unusually for a Shakespearean comedy, with promises of future union rather than immediate marriages, ending with the famous songs of Spring and Winter that celebrate the eternal cycle of seasons and human nature.